Happiness

Happiness.

What is happiness?

I've always thought happiness is having a lot of money.. or having a very good job.. or having a loving boyfriend to share every moment of my life.. but then I think to myself: does any of those things last? Money eventually runs out.. you eventually retires from a very good job.. and a loving boyfriend eventually cheats.. or worse, dies.. so is happiness just a short-term thing?

I watched a moving story last night.. it's called Under the Tuscan Sun, starring Diane Lane.. one of my favourite leading actress.. not only because she's very beautiful even without trying to be, but mostly because she has a charisma.. the movie was about an American woman who at first was happy because she thought she has everything, had her world literally crushed, thought she found happiness again, only to find out it was just an illusion and then finally realized she had and never lost everything she wanted in life after all...

Having watched the movie, I can't help but wonder: what does happiness really mean? do I really need all those things to make me happy? what if they don't last? do I really want to enslave myself trying to find them knowing that I would eventually lose them again?

Really.. I don't think a lot of money would make me truly happy.. it would buy me a lot of beautiful stuff, but happiness cannot be bought.. just look around at how many lives have been ruined because of money.. I hate to think that my happiness depends on one individual.. it would be great to have someone to share life with, but I hardly think it's a good idea to become dependent.. heartache is a pain in the ass, I know from personal experience.. and a good job, well, I think it's more important to be very good at what I do that wasting my time trying to get a very good job that probably doesn't even exist...

So what is happiness?

I'm starting to believe that happiness is really just one's own perspective on life.. when one can see how beautiful his/her life really is, then he/she have found true happiness.. I really think a drastic change is in order for me.. I realize it would take to turn my whole belief system around, but I think I can do it.. I just have to keep reminding myself that I've already got the one thing I need to make me happy: MY LIFE!